Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Mother's Heart

As mothers, we have an awesome opportunity: the chance to plant seeds,
kindle fires, and impart a legacy of wealth. These seeds may not
germinate for many years, sometimes not until after our own death; the
fires may only smolder until our children reach adulthood, when
suddenly, the Spirit’s breath fans them into life. But we can be
confident that the things our children learn from us of God and His Son
will be a permanent part of their hearts, enriching their lives and
eventually their children’s lives, an eternal heritage from one
generation to the next.

Excerpt from /A Mothers Heart/ By Ellyn Sanna

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Position Available : )

Thought this was kinda cute. 


Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCENone required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and this wish you could only do more.

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

You Might Be Homeschooled If...

You Might Be Home Schooled If ...
  • you never get "snow days" off
  • "P.E." includes yard work
  • you've ever been in more than three grades at once
  • all the signatures on your graduation diploma end with the same last name
  • after your first year in college, the academic dean keeps asking, "Are there any more at home like you?"
  • your extracurricular activities take more time than your academics
  • your teacher has ever come to school in her pajamas
  • your family has the national average of 2.5 children...in each bedroom!
  • you get your high school diploma BEFORE you get your driver's license
  • your 15-passenger van contains more kids than the passing school bus
  • your first real date is on your honeymoon
  • your Home Economics class transitions smoothly into married life
  • denim is a primary color
  • your grade and your age have ever matched
  • you NEVER get to use the "1-10 items" Express Lane in the grocery store
  • you feel sorry for the over socialized public school kids
  • you consider school work after lunch to be cruel and unusual punishment
  • you have to move dirty laundry off your desk before you can study
  • the only questions you missed on the ACT were the ones dealing with "the late Cretaceous Period."
  • your answering machine gets the phone more than you do
  • the term "Anglo-Saxon" makes you think of your geometry book
  • your mom can turn ANYTHING into an object lesson illustrating your current assignment
  • the Home School Channel is the only channel allowed in your house
  • the ACLU is considered a four-letter word in your house
  • you think public school looks a whole lot like prison
  • you consider loss of reading privileges to be the most drastic form of punishment
  • you could win a science fair by summarizing your plenteous experience in removing stains from clothing
  • you have changed FAR more diapers than the average day care worker
  • your yearbook is also your baby book
  • you can actually read your diploma when you graduate
  • your four-year-old brother can answer the socialization question
  • you have so many baby sitting requests that you form a referral company